Richard Dawkins – Messiah or Maniac?
February 5, 2009
I’ve been hearing about this Richard Dawkins for quite some time, on the internet forums i post on, on TV, radio, etc. The people who usually quote him are dogmatic atheists, hypocritical and just as religious as any religion they berate.
Now i know why. Read the rest of this entry »
Descartes and his myth of open-mindedness
February 5, 2009
I won’t lie and pretend i’ve read all his works, or even any of his works in full, i’ve basically had a look around on the internet and read a lot of snippets, and what bits i could find for free, as well as the basic concepts of his thinking. Seeing as this site is basically for me to meander in my own mind express it in written form, i doubt it matters much.
Upon reading on the thinking behind Descartes’ philosophy, i can’t help but find inconsistencies. The same inconsistencies i see in any argument that claims open-mindedness, free-thinking and the like. Read the rest of this entry »
Do I Believe? – UFOs, Aliens and Chariots of the Gods
February 5, 2009
Another of my childhood interests which even stuck with me through my Christian years, always giving me cause for curiosity and wonder. I have somewhat lost my interest and curiosity over recent years, guess i had to get rid of a few things to make room for everything else that was going on inside of me.
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The Concepts
There’s quite a few ideas and theories behind the whole phenomenon of UFOs and Aliens, some more plausible than others. Read the rest of this entry »
Do I Believe? – God and all of his/her/it’s guises
February 5, 2009
Warning, this is a long post!
The first one didn’t go too bad, and pushed on by my own sense of greatness (or lack thereof), i’ve decided to be brave and tackle the big one, God.
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A little background
As you’ve probably garnered, either by reading my previous posts, or by knowing me, i was a born again Christian for over 5 years of my life. Between the ages of 18 and 23 and a bit. My faith was always strong within that time, until towards the very end of the run, where it withered and died as i struggled to keep one aspect (lust) of my life under wraps. Read the rest of this entry »
Do I Believe? – Ghosts
February 5, 2009
I thought i’d start off with something that i’ve been interested in since i was a child. It’s also quite an interesting topic, and should avoid the wrath of my boredom or dis-interest. 
I’m not going to cover absolutely every possibility, as it would take a lot of work and time, which i don’t really have in me. But i’ll cover the most likely ones, in my opinion anyway. Read the rest of this entry »
Finding myself through expression – or something equally pretentious
February 5, 2009
Recently i’ve realised just how little i know myself, i spent so much time in the last however many years trying to avoid things, deny things, move on or around obstacles both in life and in myself, that i’ve lost sight of what i am and who i am.
I’ve realised that some of my beliefs and meanderings are actually contradictory, and even that some of the things i think just plain don’t make sense. Worst of all, i’m not actually really bothered by this, but i kind of feel i should be, or something. Read the rest of this entry »
26-06-08 – New Delusion
February 5, 2009
there ain’t no karma to take away the pain
no cosmic power to justify restrain
do unto others, what you wish done to you
a nice little lullabye
something to help children sleep at night
disempower the boogie man
delusion for the win
delusion can’t last forever
and sooner or later it’s not enough
sooner or later there needs to be answers
not neat little answers to make it all ok
dark, terrifying answers
which bring actions just as bad
it’s right to fear them
there’s no going back once you give into them
there’s no saying sorry, not even regret
afterall they’re justified
justice itself comes at a price though
one i’m not ready for
maybe i’ll never be ready
maybe it’s the new delusion
but it suits for now
the pieces fit
it doesn’t bring peace
it doesn’t fill the gap
but it gives promise
a glimmer of hope
ineloquent hope
but hope all the same
26-06-08 – Learn to Live
February 5, 2009
it all started with a kiss
based upon a lie
smitten in an instant
taken by the promise of everything i’d dreamed of
dreams i knew would never come true
taken captive by them when they did
i wasn’t ready
i wasn’t prepared
like shooting fish in a barrel
take what you want, give a little in return
make it look good
say enough to make it feel real
meet your needs while denying mine
make me feel guilty for even having any
always the perfect excuse to fall back on
insecurity
past pains
woe is you and fuck me
the way it was always meant to be
a relationship based on need
nothing less, nothing more
it’s days numbered from the start
no real meaning
no real desire
just an inkling
the merest hint
to keep things rolling along
to keep the dream ‘real’
it’s easy to fall for when you have nothing to compare it to
i guess you got what you wanted
got what you needed
then your needs got greater
time to move on
time to move up
leave behind what was and find what will be
not that easy for the one left behind
still clinging to the dream
unable to see anything else
wanting only things that can’t be
needing something that probably never was
it’s a fucked up place to be
it needs fucked up reasoning to get out of
i’m not even sure there is a get out
maybe there doesn’t need to be
maybe we never get out of the past
just learn to live with it
learn to live around it
learn to live in spite of it
learn to live
26-06-08 – Justification
February 5, 2009
It would be so easy to justify any outcome
any outcome that may or may not be right
may or may not help
the mind is a powerful thing
but through pain
through time
through understanding of yourself
you find ways to trick it
find ways to believe in the face of no evidence
ways to see, to help dampen the pain
ways to be, to help bring strength and survival
it would be so easy to just go for glory
mete out punishment on all who deserve it
mete out retribution on those who have wronged
everything comes at a price, though
it would be a big sacrifice
one i’m not quite ready to pay, yet
one day, i’m sure, one day
it’ll be so easy
and so right
justice served
everything made right
one day, i’m sure, one day.
24-06-08 – Time is a Healer
February 5, 2009
they say time is a great healer
they lie through their arses
tell you what you wanna hear
even when you don’t know it’s what you want to hear
even when you don’t believe it
even when you don’t like it
years pass
images still burn
thoughts still churn
heart still sinks
mind still flails
the burden of being alive
the burden of forgiveness, incomplete
no real answers
no easy fix
start it all again
it’ll just take time
one day, some way, one day
like a virus, replicating itself
realization, truth, repeat
