Don’t Damn Me!

Do you remember the hours we’d spend
you’d tell me your problems and i’d try to mend
i’d listen for hours without a word
i’d listen as a lover but more as a friend
you had your problems, i was young
no real baggage of my own
helped you to laugh when you wanted to cry
helped you feel love where once there was none
now i’ve grown up and i’m no longer young
i have baggage of my own

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but there’s no-one there to listen
i’m too damaged to even listen on my own
you took what you could get
fucked off quick and learned to forget
caring not about what you left behind
caring not for what was once a friend
now the shoe is on the other foot
you got healing and i became you
there’s no-one around to help
no-one there to help me through
i hate you because you abandoned me
i love you because i can’t forget that easily
i hate me because i let you do it
i love me because i miss me
i hate everything because you left me with nothing
i hate nothing because it’s all i have
i hate therefore i am
maybe i hate because i am
you stole my identity, stole what was me
fed from me like a leech then fucked off, full
unjust, unfair and fucking frustrating
that i get to pay for your mistakes
i gave it all and got nothing back
it didn’t matter when i was obsessed with you
my every thought and deed dedicated to you
when you fucked off i became aware
had my eyes opened to an empty hole
my worth, through your eyes
fuck all to see here, prioritize
i wish you well, happiness and fullfillment
when hell freezes over and i don’t hate
do unto others that which you wish done unto yourself
like a fool i believed
maybe if i had a stronger character i’d respect the fact i gave anyway
regardless of how much you deserved it
or how much it hurt when you weren’t there to return the favour
maybe i’d be proud of myself for being true and just
maybe i’d be a fucking fool
life is a struggle
good versus bad
man versus man
the weak get trampled while the strong buy bigger shoes
my boots are ready and i’m not pulling any punches
only the innocent shall truly survive
i won’t survive, you took away my innocence
you raped my mind, my heart and my soul
you raped the part of me that made me special
the part of me that helped you
you bit the hand that fed you
i offered you the other hand
i aided and abetted your murder
foolish and naive
easily led and bringing about my own doom
you probably don’t remember
i don’t remember fully myself
i try to forget
i still remember too much
you’ve probably moved on
onward and upward
probably never spend a minute wondering
wondering what became of a person you once loved
did you really love that person?
i did
i never knew it at the time
i took me for granted
but now i realise what i’m missing
i realise what’s lost
i was there for you
in your hardest times
in your darkest hours
the early hours of the morning or anytime you needed
i was there for you
i gave what i had, what i could
now i have those same needs and you’re not there
it’s not fair
you’re not there
neither am i
no-one is there
just some empty shell
a monument to what once was
a monument to it’s death
a monument to what will never again be
a monument to me